I recently came across this article about “ghosting” (aka The Irish Goodbye) from Slate by Seth Stevenson, explaining the art of leaving a party without saying goodbyes to everyone, and absolutely loved it. While this may seem improper to some, it can be hard to say goodbyes at events and weddings with a few hundred guests, especially when you don’t want to take the attention away from the bride. Seth reminds us that “Goodbyes are, by their very nature, at least a mild bummer. They represent the waning of an evening or event. By the time we get to them, we’re often tired, drunk, or both. The short-timer just wants to go home to bed, while the night owl would prefer not to acknowledge the growing lateness of the hour. These sorts of goodbyes inevitably devolve into awkward small talk that lasts too long and then peters out. We vow vaguely to meet again, then linger for a moment, thinking of something else we might say before the whole exchange fizzles and we shuffle apart. Repeat this several times, at a social outing delightfully filled with your acquaintances, and it starts to sap a not inconsiderable portion of that delight.” (Image above from Stone Fox Brides.)

But for those of you that are skeptical, Seth offers a few tips of advice to “ghost” without being overly rude. First, he says “it might be aggressive to ghost a gathering of fewer than 10. And ghosting a group of two or three is not so much ghosting as ditching. But if the party includes more than 15 or 20 attendees, there’s a decent chance none will notice that you’re gone, at least not right away.” And my favorite tip of all… “Simply replace your awkward goodbye with a heartfelt email sent the following morning. This note can double as a formal thank you to the host—a rare gesture these days, and one that actually does have value. (You can even include the link to that English Beat video you couldn’t stop raving about last night.)”

Good tips Seth! To read the rest of his article on Slate, click here!